I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
