Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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