You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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