5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
