69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
