I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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