My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
