so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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