I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
