Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
