There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Don't make out with my wife yet
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
