I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
