They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Randomize
