dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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