You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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