whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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