i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
