is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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