i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
