So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
