Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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