a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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