I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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