She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish you could order shots online.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
