Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
