did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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