I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
