arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I smell like Dick and happiness
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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