Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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