GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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