I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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