I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
