You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
last night I used snow as a chaser
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
