Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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