wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
