Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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