so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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