shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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