hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
