There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
