Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
