you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
