i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Found your dick twin last night
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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