these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
