Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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