Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
