How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
