HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
