I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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