At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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