Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed

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(513): View more from Ohio

She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.

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(906): View more from Michigan

I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.

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(404): View more from Georgia

boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.

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(830): View more from Texas

You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy

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(609): View more from New Jersey

You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.

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(229): View more from Georgia

Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.

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(949): View more from California

Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises

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