guys are not supposed to queef...right?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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